Or should I say yet? Who knows? I might just go nutty enough to see dancing babies everywhere I go.
The year is just over halfway through and already four of my friends have given birth. There are several others in the next few months too. Whenever a lot of people get pregnant all at once, people tend to joke around and say "It must be in the water!" Just a warning...never say something like that to an infertile, unless you want to (a) make her burst into tears or (b) hear the f-bomb explode in your face.
And, of course, there's the most famous baby of them all, the new Prince George. By the way, I'm calling it now, George is going to be one of the fastest-rising names in popularity over the next year. In a way, I feel terribly sorry for the duke and duchess. They have every minute detail of their lives examined. Catherine had to get all dolled up, fixed her hair and makeup the day after giving birth. Now I've never pushed a baby out my vagina but I'm going to assume it is a tad bit uncomfortable and I doubt I would want to have my picture taken immediately afterward. I'm just glad I can wallow in all my infertile misery all by myself. I can choose to be alone in this, or to complain to whomever I want. I don't have magazines all over the world documenting my uterus, and I never will. In a game of "Who has it better?" I'm going to say that I win. (You know, other than the millions of pounds the duchess has.)
When a woman reaches her late-20s and early-30s, her proverbial "biological clock" starts ticking. Mine started soon after I was married at age 28, but my husband convinced me to wait at least a year. He had the convoluted idea that as soon as we started trying to get pregnant, it would magically happen. Now that I'm almost 31, time seems to be passing at a much faster rate. Most of my friends have at least one child, and many are on their 2nd, 3rd or even 4th by now. In my twisted little mind, it seems like a competition, one that Mr J and I are failing miserably at.
"31 isn't old! You still have years of fertility ahead!" Yes, I've heard that many times. Is it true, who knows? Most days I convince myself it is true and that, yes, I will conceive a child someday. But on my more realistic...some would say pessimistic...days, I can admit to myself that I probably will never be a biological mother. That's not to say I won't be one by other means. I have always been a strong supporter of adoption, but the idea has been something I'd want to pursue later in life. But it is looking more and more like adoption is the best path for us now, rather than later. Our next step is to contact the local DHS and apply to be foster parents. I look forward to taking you along with us on this next journey. Be patient with me, as it is bound to be a strange ride with many ups and downs, but then, that's how everything in my life is.